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MannersMakethMen's guide to being a Thug Papi Baller 24/7/365 evrytiem- Part 1

123 posts Member
edited March 2018
Usually I'd start by saying hello, but let's get real here. Nobody gives two popcorn [email protected] about my greetings. You're here for one thing and one thing only. Tips and tricks on how be the sexiest, crunkest, flyest, illest, trillest, skills on fleek player that this game has ever seen. I promise you, after reading these series of guides, You'll get so many "teach me senpai" and "reported" messages it'll make your little head spin. So hold on to your tookus and buckle up buttercup, it's about to get real.

In most posted "git gud" guides i have observed, I've noticed that a very large and detrimental tangent of gitting gud is seemingly overlooked. In order to optimize your #skirtskirt and #flexin in game you must first look to a few not so obvious variables that can affect your overall output.

Your apparel:
All papi's know that the secret to those crunk af killstreaks can be largely attributed to the fly threadz that they wear. But which threadz you ask? Hope ur sitting down because this is going to blow your mind. One word, one beautiful word. Onesie

The best way to describe this amazing assortment of fabric is "baller". There is nothing that can't be accomplished on the battlefront when you have those bad sallies on. Oh what's that? You think I'm joking? Feast your visionballs on this


That's right son, I know that it's almost impossible to see, but I'm actually rocking the flyest onesie this world has ever seen. It's the epitome of comfort, and also the most efficient form or gaming apparel. Go straight from bed to your gaming chair in no time flat. Wow, 2EZ. (Pro tip: get one with a Velcro boomboom flap, buttons are too time-consuming. You can't deprive your team of Daddy phatstreaks because you're stuck in the can fussing with buttons)

Also the grippy grips on the bottom make running at mach speed from your gaming chair to the fridge and back effortless. There I just changed your life for the better, you're welcome.

Headwear is also important but easily summed up in a very brief statement, make sure it's a snapback, and make sure it's not TLJ themed and you're good to go. EZ

Beverages and solid sustenance:

All real G's know that in order to be poppin' caps 24/7/365 you need to maintainin' dat bod so that it's always on fleek. I would highly recommend slammin dem veggies down your gullet as fast as breaks in between ill killstreaks allow. I know it's different from the norm but trust me you'll see a difference in performance. Gimme sum o' dat peak mental condition pls. (I'd actually suggest a mixture of Doritos and Cheetos, which is what I usually eat, but unless you have a fly honey to hand feed you while you're beastin online, your fingers get to greasy).

Also, drink water over everything, no joke, Dad can't be dippin on foo's with depleted electrolytes! Get those suckers on balance and watch your score soar to thuglyfe level. EZ

Distance to sit from gaming monitor (tv=casual)

All real ones know that if you can't see your breath fogging up the screen, then your probably way too far away. Dad needs to get all up in dem pixels to be flexin on the reg boi. EZ

Well, that takes care of this post (actually it doesn't, but I should probably get off the toilet and go back to work). Stay tuned for next time where we explore how to be 420noscoping scrubs with the all classes, and the best ways to be the alpha papi on every map. Hate Jakku? You wont after you see how Dad plays it. You can read other guides sure. But why settle for minute steak when you can have dad's homemade tenderloin? That's what I thought.

L8tr Sk8rs


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